I have always felt that the most difficult job in the world is parenthood.

Being a parent is difficult, and it is even more difficult to be a good parent and a qualified parent.

A mother posted on the Internet that her daughter liked to lock the door when she got home. Out of the mother's natural sensitivity, the mother took advantage of her daughter's school to go to her cabinet and found a sex toy in the cabinet.

For an instant, there was a bolt from the blue. My daughter was only 18 years old, so why did she use this kind of stuff? This is not acceptable to mothers who think they have strict tutoring.

So the mother confiscated her daughter's sex toys and told her dad that they both severely criticized and educated her daughter.

I thought that this matter could finally come to an end, but my daughter is still the same as before, she will lock the door when she enters her bedroom. The mother was worried, and then quietly flipped through her daughter's cabinet. The result was the same: her daughter was still using sex toys secretly.

Faced with this situation, the mother was at a loss. Posting on the Internet for help: She doesn't understand why her daughter is so young.

I can understand that in a country where the topic of sex has always been kept secret, facing children who have not yet fully entered the society, being a parent has instinctive worry and exhaustion.

Although I am not a mother yet, I can’t pretend to be familiar with my views on childcare, but I am also a daughter who grew up at this age, so I decided to talk about this from the perspective of my daughter, hoping to give this mother And mothers who can read this article, provide a little more angle to analyze, reflect and solve problems.

I was born in a typical Chinese family with no sex education at all. My parents had a very traditional family education for me. In summary, this sentence: Avoidance and restriction are far greater than guidance and communication.

For example, I must go home before 9pm, and I will never stay outside, but I never tell me why this rule is required. I can only implement it and not bargain.

This rule lasted until I was 22 years old, and the year I graduated from college did not officially end, because I was going out to find a job, and I was far away from my parents, so they couldn't control me.

Because of the strict family education, if they didn't tell me, it was difficult for me to understand it from other sources when I was young.

I went to high school, only to realize that the child was not born from my mother’s asshole; adolescent boys would have nocturnal emission at night, while girls would only have sex dreams...

Some of the most basic sex knowledge were told to me by my classmates, and some I knew by peeking at tertiary movies and pocket novels.

How much is accurate and how much is misleading. At that time, I was incapable of self-judgment, so now I want to be very eager for my parents to scientifically and systematically deliver correct sexual concepts at every stage of my growth. give me.

They don’t understand, they can go to learn, instead of when I was peeking at a tertiary film, I was hit by my mom once, because my dad rented the DVD back, so she not only taught me, but also In front of me, I gave my dad a big deal.

This kind of treatment gives me the feeling that I have done a particularly bad thing. How can I be curious about sex. Girls are curious about sex, which is something that should make people feel ashamed.

That's why I was punished by my mother. She disclosed my privacy to other people, even though this other person is my dad.

Being ashamed did not completely suppress curiosity. While I blamed myself for guilt, I reminded myself to be more cautious and never get caught by my mother again.

That year, I was 17 years old, I was talking about the first love in my life.

My first love boyfriend tried to be hard on a few times, but failed. He was very upset with me, and I actually felt sorry.

And all this, my parents still know nothing about it.

But fortunately, my adolescence was passed through safely. I didn't meet many evil people, and I didn't experience abortion. But other girls may not be as lucky as me.

I recently accompanied a girlfriend for a birth check. I ran into a little girl and her parents for an abortion operation. The girl’s father scolded her all the time, saying that she was not self-respect, shameless, and the girl’s mother wiped her tears, what? Nothing was said.

The girl who wants to be a trafficker is silent and expressionless. She looks only fifteen or six years old.

I really want to go over and hug her and tell her that it’s not her fault, it’s just the fault of human nature. She is still a very precious little princess. Take care to rest after the operation, and please cherish it in the days to come. Yourself.

But after all, I didn’t find the right opportunity to talk to the child’s parents, to talk to the child.

In the book Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise, Fang Siqi, who was seduced by her teacher, once asked her mother for help and said: Our family has everything but no sex education.

Her mother's reply at the time was What kind of sex education? Sex education is for those who need sex. Isn't that the so-called education?

How many other parents, like Fang Siqi’s mother, have been absent for the most important part of their children’s growth, they have been absent from school, but they think they have not yet started school.

Just like the previous news that a 14-year-old girl and a boy fell in love with a boy, she was broken by her father. After discovering her daughter's puberty love, all sorts of bitter words found that bitter love didn't work, and came up with a broken bone.

The girl agreed to break up, and the netizens said that the fight was good, and only one fight can control such disobedient children.

Can 　　 fight the ignorant sexual drive of adolescence? My tutor is so strict, isn't it still a puppy love? Aren’t you still secretly watching pornographic books and porn?

How many children have been brutally treated by their parents, or their inner wounds cannot be healed for a long time, they will still give up their bodies easily in the future, and others will surrender with a little sweet talk.

Now many parents often talk about sex education, but they don't know that sex education can't be separated from love education.

True sex education is an education of love.

And love takes time to understand, guide, encourage, and appease. Once, twice, three times, four times, five times... is not enough. Until your child becomes independent, she needs you to give her love.

This era is more advanced than before, because of the overwhelming amount of information, all things happen in advance.

When I was 18, I didn’t know what sex toys are, and it’s not uncommon for high school students to give thongs to each other.

Speaking of the mother who found her daughter masturbating with sex toys, think of myself again:

I would hope that my mother will not just go through my cabinet. Although I have not graduated from high school, I am 18 years old and am already an adult in the legal sense, so I really want to have my own private space.

In addition, when it comes to things that are so private about me, I don’t want to be known by more people, let alone discuss my masturbation in front of the opposite sex, even if the opposite sex is my father.

I hope my mother can care more about me, understand where this thing comes from, whether I am in a relationship, what kind of person I am in love with, and guide me to face the matter of sexuality squarely, pay attention to use and hygiene, and not be overly addicted .

Then she and my dad will accompany me on outings, sports, and other interesting things.

I think it would be easier for me to accept than confiscating my sex toys and criticizing and educating me that I shouldn’t use this thing at a young age.

Although sex toys are also called adult products, I'm within the age range that I can use them, but after all, I haven't graduated from high school, so I should focus on learning, so if my grades decline, I hope my mother can set rules for me , I have to accept punishment, for example, she will confiscate my sex toys for a month.

Maybe a month later, I have already forgotten this thing.

So dear mom and dad, please don’t let me only remember——

When I was adolescent, because I had the sexual desire of normal people, my parents treated me like a disgusting monster. You publicly criticized me and criticized me, but you did not feel sorry for your infringement of my privacy, nor did you feel sorry for it. You are not sorry that I did correct sex education.